Saturday, February 27, 2010

Take them off ;)

When you get rejected by a guy you have a crush on, you start to question what is so wrong about you, that he doesn't like. And most friends and family memebers would comment back saying "There's nothing wrong with you, you might not be his type or he may like someone else, or he's not ready for a relationship blah blah blah"


But the fact of the matter is, us members of the female species will never accept that it's not something wrong with us, that he doesn't like.

Women and men are meant to team up to procreate and keep the world running as it is. And generally you chose a member of the opposite sex that attracts you. But I must say, it's pretty fucking impossible....

After feeling down and a little rejected I began to ponder as to what is wrong with me. It's not like guys don't go for me...some do....but never the ones I want....
As the typical girl I am , I got onto the track of "maybe if I were thinner, taller, blonde, brunette, etc etc"
But THEN, a friend of mine, who I must say is extremely attractive and a lot of men would be into her....but she was having the exact same problem...the boy she liked just didn't like her back.
So, with some girlfriends we began to plot (as do all girls when it comes to boys) on how one friend would talk to this boy, and talk the girl up to the guy, hoping that in the end, after all we've been talked up, that they'll realise that they actually DO like us.
But, in the morning, when I look back at the school girl ideas I realise how naive and stupid us girls are towards men.

Generally, girls aren't that shallow. Course the guy has to be attractive to the girl, but that could be completely due to a great personality or smile or eyes. Where as guys generally will go for looks....big boobs, tiny waistes, long hair...whatever.
Now, us girls will think that if we hang out with these guys and show them how cool we are and look our best they fall head over heels for our personalities.... never gonna happen!

And a lot of the time a guy will be sooooooo sweet to you...for one reason only....and we all know what that is, don't we?



And a lot of those times girls percieve this as either a really lovely, charming guy....OR...that he likes her. WRONG... again.
really...on a whole...girls truely suck when it comes to interpretting the male species.
Why do we even bother.

I guess the reason we have such difficulties getting together (with the opposite sex) is to stop the world from over populating.

Inevitably....every girls hopes that her dream man is like Colin Firth from Bridget Jones' Diary - where as he likes her.... just as she is.


not thinner, not prettier not perhaps more classy. Just as she is.
And not to mention he's a gentleman AND he's handsome.
Every girl looks at the boy they like and disreguard all his flaws and try their hardest to see the Marc Darcy starring back into their eyes. But, I guess, it's hard to see the Marc Darcy in his eyes, when he's only starring at your boobs.
Inevitably it's a merry go round that will never end


and so, to conclude.
Us woman...are screwed :)

Monday, February 15, 2010

The first rule of Fight Club is.....

"People never truely listen - They just wait for their turn to speak" - Fight Club (1999)


Monday morning:

- Wake up
- Take the bus
- get to work
- serve some phone incompotant prick
- feel fustrated
- close up
- take the bus
- get home
- go to bed

Tuesday morning:

- Wake up
- Take the bus
- get to work
- serve some phone incompotant prick
- feel fustrated
- close up
- take the bus
- get home
- go to bed

Wednesday morning:


My life continues day after day, week after week doing the same thing and meeting the same sorts of people.
I meet new people, that look different to the others, and say things different to the others....
... they ask me out to somewhere... the same, they talk about the same sorts of things
and inevitably
are exactly the same as the people I try to avoid...


And these alike people make my day-to-day activity become somehow over-done and mundane.

But this weekend....the weekend would be different...........

As I went to be late on a Thursday night (getting ready for the next day off) I set my alarm for 6:30am, the next morning.


Because the next day I would be getting up early to take "Photos" and "Business" with a new friend ...
....the next day, what was going to be the same old "let's meet up for coffee", soon became let's steal bamboo from the botantical gardens...

"We'll, this is rather exciting" I thought to myself.... it had been so long I had done something new, that wasn't just visiting a new club.

So, after his late arrival at GOMA, Andy, Reigner and Rossy roll up in their wagon to take me away to a magical forest of Chinese weed...
Florence (the name assigned to my new camera) snapped the boys as they used their muscle and testosterone to cut at the bamboo and lift it onto the top of the wagon.

After a very tough half hour of constant shots we packed up and had a quiet coffee in Heighgate hill.
The boys showed my their house and the shed where Andy creates the magic for the growingly popular fashion label, Dexter Rose.
We spent hours and hours playing guitar, making crepes, chatting and ironing - and although the scene seemed simple - they were all a really different bunch of boys.
The boys were all very friendly and interested into what I had to say (as bizzare as that may be) they were caring and were a lot more interesting conversation than most guys these days.....
it appears as though I had stumbled across the Lost city of Modern Gentlemen.


- Now by sharing this fact the existence of this city may indeed be jepodised by the boys becoming big headed, from this fact....but inevitably it is true!
After a couple of the boys fell asleep from exhustion and Andy, slaving away in his art studio, I thought the best way to help out would indeed be to cook them dinner....
So, to most people's dismay, I got my domestic right on and cooked up a storm of Bacon Risotto.
I helped Andy Iron and label and then passed out at 2:30am.

The next day was something that had been greatly anticipated. The Cheap Thrills Festival in West End.


Andy had asked me to take photos of the label and the festival on Saturday 13th so I got Florence out of bed the very next day and we started our MASSIVE day snapping the shirtless, skirtless, senseless youth that invaded down town West End.


After it all the boys bought me drinks and we celebrated with an exciting night out.

Finally1 An entire weekend of doing something completely new and completely spontanious

Maybe people are getting less boring than I realised....

AND THEN! last night I got on the wrong bus to Red Hill and a kind lady walked me all the way down to the bus stop I was meant to be at and then the bus driver gave me a free ride and took me exactly where I need to be.

So what have I learnt over the last week then?

Perhaps, there are still people out there, like myself. That will help out someone in need. That enjoy doing new exciting things. That still understand the value in buying someone a cup of coffee. And people that honnestly enjoy just hanging out with new people.


All in all - a very satisfactory weekend haha!
Thanks fellas ;)

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Lost in Cyberspace!!!!!!!!!!

When I was a kid....
(Now, I know what you're thinking..... wasn't that like 3 years ago...but SHUT UP I mean like a little kid)
.... the world was substantially different.

I used to spend my money saving for $5 music singles from Sanity, writting in my "Girl Tech" voice-locking diary and riding my bike to my friends house, to make up dance routiens to N'sync.
But today, everything has become much more "hi-tech".


Instead of calling your friend or biking over to their house.....
we facebook chat them.
Instead of meeting a cute guy at a coffee shop and going on a dinner date...
we search for blind dates on RSVP.
It seems the entirity of our world has turned itself upside down and become cyber spacial.

Yes, our world has stretched beyond the means of physical or verbal contact and taken on a world of it's own, completely.

But now, that we've switched our world over, on to the net, are we still controlling it....or is it slowly starting to control us?


As Stanley Kubrick's 70s cult film, "2001: A Space Odyssey" explores, through the evolution of technology and the internet, our world is starting to be controlled by machines.
On facebook thousands of people are a apart of millions of different groups:
The "Kevin Rudd Sucks" group
The "Death to Bindy Irwin" group
The "I kissed a girl, and I liked it" group....
these groups are a way of people joining together, to share their ideals and interests.

But what happens when these groups go to far....
... when some appocolypto obsessed, computer geek, that's living in his mothers garage, decides that "yeah, it's hot enough today to be the end of the world", and creates a "It's finally the end of the world" facebook group....

will the entire teen, cyberspacial population join the group and start to bite off their arms and legs out of fear that the worlds about to end?!

Or even worse, will those teens, unfortunate enough to have M.I.L.Fs as mothers (Mothers I'd Like to Fuck), actually have to watch their mums be chatted up by their class mates, on Facebook....which will inevitably end in a virtual marriage!?!

Whose to say what our technological future will bring, but I have to say...I'm not sure if I like it.....


I often toss and turn at night, having dreams of going to text message parties - where we all sit in a room, getting drunk and text messaging the other people in the room/at the party. Where the party is silent and people are so fixated on their mobiles their eyes fall out after their 6th Corona.


I like the way we party noowwwwwww!
I like being chatted up by the stereotypical party sleeze.
I like dancing on table tops, when your so drunk its embarressing
And I like meeting new people!
and I know I'm being hypocritical by writting this blog on the internet
But I would write on our city walls if I had the paint
it's only cause of ease and because I'm poor.


We should make a stand....follow my blog and we will make sure text message parties

........ EVER

now let's all have a frolic in the fields together......
group hug in the showers later!

p.s Hi michael
and last comment was for you

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Sex Changes

*You always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you...* Sex Changes, Amanda Palmer



After long, in depth Facebook Chat conversations about got me thinking on what really does change a person...and whether or not change is a good thing.

I guess some changes can be good. Moving away from my prision up North - down to a more exciting life style was an amazing change. And with this change my friendships are also changing. Without the change of habitat I wouldn't have met my new friend Rachel - who is not only creative, with exciting artistic flare....but strangely easy to talk to. I also am more excited to see old friends and family members - now being so far from them.

Looking at a situation like this it appears that change is a great thing.
But what about when people change?


As it appears, being bored, at work of a Monday Morning, is the idealistic way to start the great Facebook Chat debate.
Thanks to my esteemed friend Lewis - we fell into a deep, confruntational banter on whether or not drugs change a person.
I (sticking to the life lessons I learnt in Primary school, I was on the side that Drugs are STILL bad) ...whilst Lewis took a more...unconventional approach.


The way I see it, people to who take drugs, especially pot, seem to lose a little bit, everytime, of who they used to be.
They become lazier, or they don't care as much about something they used to love, or perhaps just a new found hatred for cuisines you used to love.

But, I guess, all throughout out media we are told that the changes that happen to a person on drugs is bad ... yet why should we care what society thinks.

I mean, we are told to be individual and not care what others think, so how can we establish if these changes are good or bad.
And maybe it doesn't really matter if you're changing as long as your actually satisfied with who you are... (-the point that LuLu (aka Lewis) raised)

I'm fairly certain that when the world looks at me they think; extremely happy, overly opinionated and perhaps a little hyperactive.
But really I like being happy, because it means people like to be around me. I like to be overly opinionated because at least I know when I'm creating music or art I always have something to discuss. And theres nothing wrong with having a little too much energy, is there.

So, I'm not sure whether change is good or bad. I still think drugs are not really the way to change and develop who you are as a person....but who am I to judge.

Let's just hope that when we wake up tomorrow, we can still recognise the people around us.


Monday, February 1, 2010

Well, Fuck You Too

As a struggling musician/photographer/writer/everything
I have to continue my double life as a sell out Optus "Communications Consultant" ..


but I can tell you, at times its' rather tidious.
Everyday it's the same old, same old....
"The phone was only a week old, and you people said it was physical damage and he hasn't even dropped it" [sure sure]


"IPHONES! What can tell me about them?"

The mumbles of curse words and screaming customers holding iPhones I can tell you, you get pretty over it.

But- it seems to me that people today are getting ruder and ruder to their fellow man.
People today are so consumed with their fucking iPhones and Nokias that they forget to have decency and manners to the people selling them.
It's about time people woke up and realised that if your phone gets a scratch or dies it is not the end of the world!

Working in phones everyday for a year now I have come to think of ways that people can keep in touch when their phone dies (so it no longer means the end of the world for them)....
1) be spontanious - meet up with friends randomly. They may never show up or show up to somewhere else but, who knows, you might get an adventure out of it.
2) Smoke them out! - learn how to signal neighbouring friends and family by smoke signals. It'll keep people watching the sky and will keep you warm in the winter.
3) Befriend the Birds - send long distance messages via Carrier Pigeon. Clearly it worked 50 years ago and if we all stopped being so fucking lazy now, it will work again! Not only can you deliever messages with your fine new fleeting feathered friend BUT you can even get just as attached to this cute creature as your fucking iPhone.
4) Become a Hermet - who needs friends when you have a run-down shed in the Outback and an old Blue-Healer named Shirley. The only person you need to contact, when your a Hermet, is Shirley and she's always just right by your side.
5) Go back to the Nineties - return to the belovered MSN. Remeber the days of MSN when you used to speak to boys you really really liked and meet new, random people who told you they were from the school down the road from yours but we're actually sexually deprived perverts? I do - and I think there's no better way to meet such poedophiles then over Cyberspace. If you can't get back in with MSN, then you can stick to this day'n'age and use your Facebook.

Clearly, there are many ways to keep in contact with friends and family. So every person that's obessessed with their iPhone (to the point where it is so attached to your heart that if YOU die, IT dies) ...


Don't come whinging to me about your phone problems cause to be honnest...
I couldn't give a flying fuck!

You Can Just Kiss our Communication Consultant asses!

my night with The Machine



After all my extravigent planning (which you all read about in my last blog) I did ACTUALLY get to see Florence + The Machine play live...

so to all you who said I couldn't do it.

Screw You!

What a night of festivities it was....

My friend Michael and I were rushed to get to the valley.... "someone" [he] took way too long to get ready and therefore we missed the bus right outside my house.

So, I struted down Maygar Street, with my gold and black dress and a big green flower in my hair, down to Lutwych road.....where we caught a cab

$10.50 later we reach the valley, only to have a very unknowledgable confusing 'James G' head us in the wrong direction....

"It's AAAAGGGEEESSS Away...somewhere near Spring Hill, I think"
So, I got my strut on again and waltzed up Brusnwick, heading towards the city/Spring Hill.

After much trecking, and not much success we come across an excitable gay couple.
"Where are you rushing to?" they queried.
"Wow, you're way off! take a cab, and get them to take you to the RNA showgrounds"

The boys licked their used stamps to try and fuse the marks onto our skin. Unfortunately the only thing that was left on our skin was they saliva.

Finally, reaching the RNA showgrounds my friend Lakkari, who is screaming with excitement from inside, whispers to me about a secret ally way that leazds to the stage where Florence is about to come on.
We hurry up the ally way to find a fence and a couple of poor people sitting down, drinking beer and waiting for the dramatic singer to jump on stage.

closer than the back row even


After I basically came, due to excitement over such an amazing event, with my collection of friends that had seen my dancing from the mosh, (Dane, Lakkari, Danielle, Michael and I) all headed over to the Laneway After party at Empire Hotel.

After drinking and meeting randoms, like you do in every night life situation, I spotted something that appeared somehow familiar - a glimmer of Red Hair.
I pause.
No, It can't be...
but is.


Florence, from Florence + the Machine, is sitting on a thin, blonde girls lap, chatting and drinking away.
Without a second thought of hesitation I rush over to flood her with my emotions of how amazing her show (and her hair) is. With tired exhustion she thanks me and then whisks off to do double shots at the bar.

There was lots of photos taken...and much rejoicing.


What a fantastic night

and you all didn't believe I'd see her
Now whose laughing

ironically, I am MWAHAHAHAHAHA

Maybe I'll make my new found, sneaking skills into a career.....
The Offical Festival Crasher....
could work.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

My Bohemian Dayzz


These days are different --- more exciting, more amusing, more theraputic and more...Bohemic.

As I stumble of out bed - my hair a firey mess, eye almost glued shut - I roughly and blindly push the on button to my now out of date "Retro" iPod Nano, to hear the sweet melodic rhythm that is Florence + The Machine. I shuffle my feet from side to side throwing my ruffelled hair around the room. I dance my way around the room until I reach the giant kitchen window that opens onto the streets's not until I see the parked Transinfo bus parked right outside the window that I remember I'm in my underwear .....

hmmm, an interesting way to start the morning but never the less I am excited for it is tomorrow that I will use my new found Bohemian skills to attempt to sneak into ....



but shhhhh as I am waaaaayyyy too poor to afford tickets it's time to get tough!
Time to break a few limbs, bash a few gates.

I've roped in my hot bitch girlfriend Lakkari to source me in from the inside
and my new found BFF to sneak in too.

It's the new Bohemian way - where all I do is make money to buy alcohol and plastic cups and tickets (sometimes), stay up late walking along the river of South Bank, watching the city lights, partying late with fighting screaming drunk girls and waking up early to dance in my underwear.


For so many years I dreamt of a freedom I could have that would destroy the rut, and as I sit hear playing There There, (Radiohead) and typing to all you readers (if you do at all exist) I feel that maybe that's what I have....finally...

It's good to Bohemian Like You ;)