Monday, February 1, 2010

Well, Fuck You Too

As a struggling musician/photographer/writer/everything
I have to continue my double life as a sell out Optus "Communications Consultant" ..


but I can tell you, at times its' rather tidious.
Everyday it's the same old, same old....
"The phone was only a week old, and you people said it was physical damage and he hasn't even dropped it" [sure sure]


"IPHONES! What can tell me about them?"

The mumbles of curse words and screaming customers holding iPhones I can tell you, you get pretty over it.

But- it seems to me that people today are getting ruder and ruder to their fellow man.
People today are so consumed with their fucking iPhones and Nokias that they forget to have decency and manners to the people selling them.
It's about time people woke up and realised that if your phone gets a scratch or dies it is not the end of the world!

Working in phones everyday for a year now I have come to think of ways that people can keep in touch when their phone dies (so it no longer means the end of the world for them)....
1) be spontanious - meet up with friends randomly. They may never show up or show up to somewhere else but, who knows, you might get an adventure out of it.
2) Smoke them out! - learn how to signal neighbouring friends and family by smoke signals. It'll keep people watching the sky and will keep you warm in the winter.
3) Befriend the Birds - send long distance messages via Carrier Pigeon. Clearly it worked 50 years ago and if we all stopped being so fucking lazy now, it will work again! Not only can you deliever messages with your fine new fleeting feathered friend BUT you can even get just as attached to this cute creature as your fucking iPhone.
4) Become a Hermet - who needs friends when you have a run-down shed in the Outback and an old Blue-Healer named Shirley. The only person you need to contact, when your a Hermet, is Shirley and she's always just right by your side.
5) Go back to the Nineties - return to the belovered MSN. Remeber the days of MSN when you used to speak to boys you really really liked and meet new, random people who told you they were from the school down the road from yours but we're actually sexually deprived perverts? I do - and I think there's no better way to meet such poedophiles then over Cyberspace. If you can't get back in with MSN, then you can stick to this day'n'age and use your Facebook.

Clearly, there are many ways to keep in contact with friends and family. So every person that's obessessed with their iPhone (to the point where it is so attached to your heart that if YOU die, IT dies) ...


Don't come whinging to me about your phone problems cause to be honnest...
I couldn't give a flying fuck!

You Can Just Kiss our Communication Consultant asses!

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